


Now With Added Tentacles!

by Jade_Dragoness



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Community: cliche_bingo, Crack, Humor, M/M, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-05
Updated: 2009-07-05
Packaged: 2017-10-27 14:05:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/296656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jade_Dragoness/pseuds/Jade_Dragoness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim ends up with tentacles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Now With Added Tentacles!

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt square: Crackfic

“Okay,” said Jim Kirk. “This is different.”

He was staring down at his own bare chest feeling very stunned. He’d just woken up by the computer alarm to get ready to head for his shift on the bridge when he’d noticed four round protrusions on his sides. Two on the left, and two on the right. Roughly the size of his fists, and the color of a newly healed scar.

He touched one gently, and hissed through his teeth at the flash of pain.

Damn, that was sensitive! 

Okay, so maybe he should make a stop by medical bay first and let Bones scan him.  
*-*-*-*

“What the _hell_ are those?” yelped McCoy as soon as Jim had taken off his shirt.

Jim gave McCoy an exasperated look. “Well, I don‘t know, Bones. For some crazy reason I thought my doctor could tell me,” he snapped. 

The shock on McCoy’s face faded as he snatched up a medical tricorder and started scanning him. 

“Damn it, Jim. If this is some new sort of space VD that you‘ve picked up…” McCoy threatened. 

Jim tried not to growl. “And how exactly would that happen? The last time I was off this ship it was to that away mission to that planet with the sentient mushrooms. Unless you‘re trying to imply that I have a fungi fetish.”

“I wouldn‘t put it past you,” said McCoy. He frowned at his scans.

“Thanks, Bones,” Jim said dryly.  
*-*-*-*

McCoy quickly ruled out tumors when his scans discovered that the things growing from Jim’s sides were actually organized at the cellular level. There was structured muscle tissue, there were nerve connections to his nervous system. There was a solid sheath of new skin. And he’d also discovered-

“What do you mean they‘re growing?” asked Jim, wide-eyed.

“Do you need me to get you a dictionary? Growing! As in they’re getting longer,” said McCoy. 

Jim just stared at him. 

“I swear, Jim. I think you‘re growing tentacles,” said McCoy, gesturing helplessly. “Now, don‘t ask me how, because I don‘t have a goddamned clue but-” He stared at the protrusions to Jim and back. “-there they are.”

Jim joined him in staring at them. 

“Tentacles? Are you sure?” He may have squeaked a little there. 

“Yeah, the scans don’t lie,” said McCoy. 

Jim‘s blue eyes were still wide. “Just how long are they going to get?”

“Based on the rate of metabolic activity? I‘d say between 3 to 4 feet. About as long as your arms,” answered McCoy.

They stared at each other. 

“Bones, can you fix it?” Jim asked desperately. 

“I have no idea. I don‘t even know you got all tentacled up in the first place!” said McCoy. “Now, are you sure you haven‘t had sex with anything strange lately?”

“No! I‘d definitely remember!” Jim groaned, he dropped his face into his hands. “Please. Please, tell me you can get rid of them.”

“I could probably amputate,” McCoy answered slowly.

Jim looked up in hope.

“But I‘d rather not since I don‘t know what caused it in the first place. You could end up growing tentacles from your face or something.”

“Not my face!”

Jim’s aghast expression made McCoy pat his friend’s back reassuringly, though he also fought back a grin.

“Don‘t worry, so far they seem to be the only ones growing. You‘ll still have your pretty face,” McCoy said soothingly. The smile on his face didn’t exactly soothe Jim‘s worries.

In response, Jim glared at him.  
*-*-*-*

It took three days for the protrusions to grow into full tentacles. Three days where Jim’s appetite skyrocketed and he refused to leave his quarters. Not even Spock or Bones showing up at his door to tell him to stop hiding made him leave. 

He probably would have happily stayed in there for the rest of the five year mission if a Klingon ship hadn’t showed up and begun firing on the Enterprise during their patrol of the border to the Klingon Empire. 

Then Jim was out of his quarters, onto the bridge and shooing Spock out of his captain’s chair before Uhura had even finished calling him over the com-unit. 

“What are you? You are not a human,” said the captain of the Klingon Bird of Prey, his voice deep and growling. 

The Klingon commander, named Tor or Kor or something like that, was staring at Jim’s tentacles. So, he flicked the tips of them at the Klingons, trying to make it an obscene gesture.

The Klingon seemed to read his intent because his eyes narrowed to angry slits.

Jim growled right back. “I‘m a Kirk! Now, get the hell away from my ship before I blow yours apart.”

The Klingon sneered, and bared his sharp teeth at Jim. “Just try it, Kirk. Fire!”

“Brace for impact!” yelled Jim. 

The entire bridge shook, officers fell out of their chairs. The only ones unmoved were Spock at his science station and Jim in his chair. His tentacles had acted like seat belts, gripping tightly to the edges of the chair, holding him steady.

Chekov popped up quickly, his hands blurring over the readouts of the tactical station. “Shields at 87 percent!”

“Fire torpedoes!” barked Jim. “Evasive maneuvers Delta 3!”

“Aye! Torpedoes away, Keptin!” said Chekov.

“Aye, sir! Evasive maneuver Delta 3,” said Sulu.

There was a moment of grim silence. 

“Direct hit, Keptin!” said Chekov, grinning. “Their shields are buckling.”

“Fire phasers, target their engine room, and weapons,” said Jim.

But before Chekov could carry out his order, the Klingon ship vanished into warp.

“They‘ve gone back into Klingon territory, sir!” said Chekov. 

“Damn, what the hell was that about?” asked Jim, not really expecting an answer. 

“It is a possibility that they sought to antagonize you into chasing them back into Klingon territory,” said Spock.

“Maybe,” agreed Jim. He grumbled at the view screen of now empty space. “Get us back on patrol, Mr. Sulu. Lieutenant Uhura, send a message to Starfleet, informing them of this little dance.”

“Ah… yes… sir,” said Uhura. 

Her uncharacteristic hesitancy made Jim look back to her, and he nearly flushed as he caught her staring at him. It made him aware that the entire bridge was looking rather wide-eyed in his direction. 

The only one that didn’t look boggled at the sight of him was Spock. Which really wasn’t surprising as he was Vulcan - and not inclined to such displays of emotions - and Bones would have informed Spock of his condition. It was information he needed to know as the first officer and couldn’t be kept from him by citing doctor/patient privilege.

Jim knew this because he tried.

He slowly curled his tentacles around his stomach, keeping them close to his body and felt rather glad that he’d cut holes into his shirts so he wasn’t running around bare-chested.

Oh, hell. This was going to be strange to get used to.  
*-*-*-*

Surprisingly enough, it didn’t get any worse. If anything it got rather good. 

Sure, crew members stared, but they were professional Starfleet officers who not only had seen weirder things during Starfleet Academy training but some of them shared quarters with beings that looked odder than a human with tentacles growing from his sides. 

The really amazing thing, in Jim’s opinion, were the number of people that began to flirt with him. His crew, who’d long ago stopped reacting to his flirtatious behavior, having learned that it was just Jim’s habit, now started flirting right back.

Which just about drove Jim crazy because he wasn’t allowed to do anything about it. No matter how much that cute yeoman winked at him, or how hotly the midshipman scanned his body with his eyes, Jim still wasn’t suppose to touch them as he was still the captain.

“Sex would be a great way to try these puppies out,” Jim whined to McCoy after several days of feeling like he was walking around with a permanent hard-on. He‘d never cursed the tightness of Starfleet uniform pants so much. 

“I don‘t want to hear it,” snapped McCoy. 

“But Bones!”

“No! Damn it, Jim,” scowled McCoy. “If you‘re so desperate to test them out, go and jerk off with them until we get shore leave.”

Jim absolutely brightened up. He’d been so caught up in fending off the advances of his crew that he completely forgot that he could do that. 

“That‘s a great idea, Bones!” Jim grinned, he clapped McCoy’s shoulder in his enthusiasm. The two tentacles on that side reached out and curled around McCoy’s waist. Jim pulled him close with them. Then Jim slid the tip of one tentacle down his hip.

“Of course, if I could talk you-”

“If you finish that sentence you’ll find you won’t be bothered by your case of blue balls anymore because I will make it so you can never get it up, I swear to God,” said McCoy flatly.

Jim jerked away. “Okay! Okay! I get it! Threats aren‘t necessary,” said Jim as he held up his hands and tentacles innocently in the air. “I know when I‘m not wanted.” He whistled cheerfully as he walked away. 

“Yeah, right,” muttered McCoy behind him.

He strutted through the halls as he caught all the heated looks being tossed in his direction by various crew members. At least, he no longer felt like he had to be the captain from the inside of his quarters for the rest of the mission.

That would have sucked.  
*-*-*-*

The tentacles were the best sex toys ever!

For the first time ever, Jim could jerk his cock off with an appendage, wrap another around his balls, and use another to fuck himself, all while holding tight to the frame of his bed with his hands as the fourth tentacle pressed into his slack mouth. 

It was the greatest jerk off session Jim ever had since he was fifteen and had gotten hard up to seven times in a row before collapsing into a quivering puddle of teenage boy and bodily fluids.

These were the thoughts that went thorough his head as he lay sprawled out on top of the covers of his bed. His semen was smeared all over his abdomen, and his ass felt sore. Even his lube besmeared tentacles were now tired out and limp.

Jim’s mind was totally and happily blown to kingdom come. 

And if it was this good just by himself, Jim couldn’t even begin to wrap his mind around how insanely hot and amazing it would be with someone else thrown into the mix. 

Damn. How soon were they scheduled to have shore leave again?  
*-*-*-*

So, it turned out that since the Enterprise had leave only three weeks ago, they were not allowed to have more until the month and a half mark came up again, at the very least. If they were unlucky and got assigned to some task that Starfleet considered to be too important to wait then it would be even longer.

Jim rather thought he was going to die if he didn’t fuck someone. Soon.

He was rather limited in his choices if he did give in and pick one of his crew. According to Starfleet regulations he was only allowed to bed senior officers, which pretty much meant most of bridge crew or people who were already attached to monogamous partners. 

So, no Scotty or Uhura because Uhura would claim his balls as earrings if he even hinted at getting in the way of their new relationship.

Bones had already made his position clear. Best friend did not equal fuck buddy, no matter how much Jim begged or tried bribing him with alcohol.

And then there was Spock. Who was hot and intelligent and Jim’s first pick if he honestly thought that he had a chance of tumbling him into bed.

He didn’t really think he did. 

He curled a tentacle over the side of the bed to grab an dirty uniform. He cleaned himself off with the gold shirt before tossing it over the side again. It was his third day at playing with himself and while it was still fun he really, really wanted a partner to enjoy it all with.

Then he had an interesting thought. 

Everyone was rather interested in his new appendages, right?

So, the chances were good that even Spock was curious about them. 

Jim reached for the com-unit and sent Spock a message asking him if he’d like to meet him at his quarters for a game of chess this night. He would figure out a plan to get Spock into bed using his own curiosity against him or his name wasn’t James T. Kirk.  
*-*-*-*

It was surprisingly simple after that. All Jim had to do was play the entire game of chess with his tentacles. 

Spock’s fascination wasn’t exactly obvious. The only thing that gave him away was that Jim was able to beat him in 23 moves. That had never happened before. 

Also, it was easy for Jim to figure it out since Spock kept his eyes glued to the tentacles’ movements and not to the board. 

Which was probably the reason that Spock had lost.

“Do you want to touch them?” Jim asked, careful to keep from leering. He didn’t want to scare off Spock so early.

“I will admit to a sense of fascination about them as their origins are still unknown,” admitted Spock, slowly.

Jim grinned and raised his upper tentacles to Spock. 

Spock eyed them hovering in the air, the pale tips quivering. Their pinkish color had slowly faded over the last few days as the new skin toughened. Their new color was the same as Jim’s regular skin color, only a few shades paler, as they had yet to see real sunlight.

They were hairless and also speckled with dusky brown freckles. They had gone from stumps to long muscled appendages, that flexed and moved with graceful sinuous movements.

“Go ahead,” urged Jim.

Spock carefully wrapped a hand around a tentacle. 

“How strong are they? Have you tested their weight lifting limit?” asked Spock, as he slid his hand down the tentacle’s length. 

Jim fought off a whimper. They weren’t as tender as the first day he’d woken up with them but they were still on the sensitive side.

“No idea on how strong they‘ll get,” answered Jim, his voice a little choked. “They‘re getting stronger everyday. I‘ve also been hitting the gym to exercise them. Right now, they can lift 25 pounds individually. Give it a few more days and I‘ll have it up to forty.”

Jim curled the tip of the tentacle Spock was holding around his wrist, giving him a squeeze. The other tentacle he held up, he shifted to Spock’s other hand. He used the fact that Spock had initiated contact to wrap it around Spock’s hand, sliding the tip to brush over Spock’s knuckles. Spock's breath caught though just for a split second. Jim only heard it because he was listening for a reaction. He used the tentacles to tug Spock forward. 

“I can do a lot more things with them than just lift barbells,” Jim purred, encouraged by Spock‘s reaction. And this time he used his hands to cup Spock’s face. 

Spock's expression was still calm and stoic as always but Jim could see a faint tinge of green rising in his cheeks. 

That wasn’t disgust or anger he was seeing in Spock’s brown eyes.

Jim smirked and caught Spock’s mouth in a kiss. He started slow. Just casual brush of lips before pressing closer and turning it fierce. There was no way that Spock didn’t know what Jim wanted. Not when so much of Jim’s skin was in such close contact with him. 

Spock moaned into his mouth. A sound so low that it was little more than a vibration against his tongue. And the chess board and all its pieces ended up on the deck as Spock tugged Jim across the table in one strong pull.

Jim eagerly crossed over to him. He twisted his body around so that he dropped down on Spock’s lap, his thighs spread, his legs wrapped around Spock’s waist. He tightened his hands on Spock‘s shoulders to hold himself steady. Then Jim ground down and pressed his hardening cock to Spock’s body.

Spock inhaled sharply and bucked up. 

Jim grinned down at him and moved his lower tentacles to the fastenings of Spock’s pants, one for Spock the other for him. He reached in and got a firm grip on Spock’s growing erection. 

“Jim, the chair is not constructed of materials that can hold the weight of two grown men without suffering structural damage,” said Spock, his voice deeper than usual but still tightly controlled. 

Jim kissed him, unable to resist seeking another taste. Obligingly Spock opened his mouth and Jim slipped in his tongue. Groaning at the hot feel of Spock, whose mouth kissed back with the hunger that Spock wasn’t expressing on his face. 

Jim pulled back, and pressed his forehead to Spock‘s. He stared into his dark eyes and gasped, “God, I want to fuck you. Please, say I can fuck you, Spock.”

“You can,” breathed Spock. “Though, I recommend a different location more suited for such an act.”

Jim nearly fell to the deck as he leapt off Spock, releasing him from the tentacled grip he’d maintained on his arms. Though, he did grab Spock’s left hand with his own right hand. He pulled him towards his bed in the adjoining room. 

Jim stopped in front of the bed but, before he could turn, Spock pressed tightly to his back. Spock’s left hand, the one that wasn’t holding onto Jim, slid from his shoulder, down his chest, down to Jim’s abdomen to his cock where Spock trailed his fingers lightly along his length. 

Too lightly to do Jim much good. 

Jim groaned in frustration and lust, then pressed back into Spock, his occupied hand tightening on Spock’s fingers. 

Spock gasped and then ground up against Jim’s ass. 

“You can fuck me after,” Jim said. “Or first. Whatever you want.”

Spock just pulled away, leaving Jim feeling too cold. 

“I would not be averse to it after the first proposal is completed,” said Spock as he began methodically removing his clothes. 

The sight of which made Jim rush to strip out of his own uniform.

Jim had just finished pulling his black undershirt over his head when he noticed Spock looking at him. Studying his body with intent concentration.

“Fascinating,” said Spock. “If one was not aware that you were not born with those appendages it could be a concluded that they were naturally occurring.”

“Want to do a more in depth examination?” asked Jim, grinning. He stepped close to him. Jim looked him up and down. Appreciating his slender form and tightly compacted muscles. Spock had a green tinge to every part of him, Jim wanted to taste every inch with his tongue. The slight parsing of dark hair which covered Spock’s chest made his palm itch to touch them.

And he _still_ looked calm and collected which instead of turning Jim off was only making him crazier to throw him down onto the bed and do the sort of things to him that would knock fissures in that control.

“Indeed. Such an investigation is only logical,” Spock answered. 

Jim just grabbed him, and pulled himself close enough to kiss him. 

“You forgot to add ‘in bed’ to that sentence,” said Jim, rubbing his erection against Spock, at the crease where thigh met hip.

Jim groaned in delight as Spock arched his back, pressing himself tightly to Jim’s front. Spock’s cock was even hotter than the rest of his body. Pre-come was smeared onto Jim‘s stomach from the head.

“An unintentional oversight, Jim,” said Spock.

Jim just pushed him and Spock willingly fell back onto the bed. He stared down at Spock, laying so enticingly on top of his covers and felt most of his higher brain processes just melt down.

He lowered himself onto Spock’s body, and licked at his neck. Spock moaned and bared his throat. Jim lightly sucked at the carotid, before grazing his teeth over Spock’s collar bones. His tentacles caressed Spock’s sides. 

When Spock raised his hands to touch him, Jim caught them with his own and pressed them back to the covers.

“Just let me touch you,” said Jim. If Spock touched him, he wasn’t certain how long he would last. And he wanted this to last all night and well into the morning. 

He interwove his fingers with Spock’s fingers. Holding his hands so that their palms were flat against each other. 

Spock arched his back. And their erections were pressed tightly together. 

Jim gasped in surprise, and panted for breath as Spock just kept moving, shifting his hips up, down and then up again. 

Spock just felt so hot! He smelled so good. All Jim wanted was to be in him before the desire for him killed him dead.

Jim pressed his left upper tentacle between their bodies until it was around Spock’s hard erection, slowly sliding it up and down the length. At the same time, Jim rubbed the pad of his thumbs over Spock’s fingers.

The moan those actions earned him more than made up for the fact that he was keeping Spock from touching him with those sexy hands.

Jim wrapped his two lower tentacles around Spock’s thighs and spread them wide. He reached with his fourth and only free tentacle to grab the lube. He squeezed the bottle, smearing a lot of lube all over the tentacle. 

God, he loved having these things. They were so handy for when one ran out of hands.

He loosed the tentacle that had been wrapped around Spock’s erection to rub it against the lube before returning to Spock, now slicker than before. Jim also pressed the other tentacle to the wrinkled opening of Spock’s body. 

Spock’s hips jerked up as the tip of the tentacle breached the muscled ring.

“Jim,” he gasped. 

“God, Spock, you feel so hot,” panted Jim. 

“Vulcans have a higher temperature than-” 

Jim pressed deeper into Spock, cutting him off with a choked moan. 

“I know,” gasped Jim. He caught Spock’s open mouth and kissed him again. Harder and wetter than before. He could feel Spock adjust with quick ease. “Ready?”

“Yes,” said Spock. “My body is prepared to be penetrated by your erection.”

Jim shivered as the words sent his heart speeding even faster. 

“Keep talking like that, and I‘ll be dead before I get to it,” said Jim. 

Spock just tilted his hips up. Jim slid the tentacle away, leaving enough lube behind that when Jim pressed his cock there, he slid in. 

Jim’s eyes closed tightly and he couldn’t help but whimper at the feel of heated flesh that was strong and soft at all once. 

He opened his eyes and saw that Spock was staring at him, as if memorizing his every reaction. Jim dropped his head to rub his cheek against his. 

“I‘m going to make this so good for you,” he promised in a hoarse voice, and then began to move. “And then after, you _will_ fuck me.”

Spock’s captured fingers caressed his hands.

It was answer enough.  
*-*-*-*-*

“So, when can I schedule you in for surgery?” asked McCoy as he sat down across from Jim in the mess. 

“Surgery?” asked Jim, pausing in mid-chew. He swallowed. “What surgery?”

“To remove your new appendages. I figured out how to remove them safely,” said McCoy. 

“Hell no! I‘m keeping them,” said Jim. He pointed the tentacle that was holding a fork at McCoy. “So, don‘t even think about it!” 

McCoy stared at him in shock. “You‘re keeping them? Why for godssake?”

“Damn right I‘m keeping them,” asked Jim. “You know how I‘ve always been spectacular in bed, Bones?”

“So you say,” said McCoy with a roll of his eyes. “Should I also remove your oversized ego next time I have you under, before you suffocate under its weight?”

Jim smirked at him, and dismissed McCoy's question with a tentacle. He used another to gesture at himself, “Well now? I‘m a sex god.”

End


End file.
